Relationships can be a messy business, and when you throw in finances, you could be in for a world of hurt. Okay, that may be a little dramatic, but that’s exactly what I thought when I read a concerning post on Reddit. I came across the story on the r/ukpersonalfinance subreddit.
A man in his 60s shared his tale, asking for advice from others who may have experienced what he was going through. He and his wife both work in the NHS and, to his knowledge, had both been contributing to their defined benefit pension schemes.
Unfortunately, during a conversation with his wife, he found out that was not the case. His wife had opted years ago not to contribute to her pension, believing that when retirement came, they could just rely on his pot.
This revelation was obviously emotionally devastating for the original poster as he couldn’t reconcile the image of who his wife was with how financially irresponsible she had been.
Once again, I found myself thinking ‘they needed financial advice’, something I always seem to think since I started working for Money Marketing.
Honeymoon’s over, and it turns out love doesn’t conquer all… especially not compound interest. This Reddit post is just another cautionary tale that many couples avoid in-depth financial discussions, leading to unpleasant surprises down the line.
Imagine the shock of discovering your partner’s been playing a solo game of financial hide-and-seek for years. In this case, all the money she could have been adding to her pension was simply her “fun” money, used on mobile games, holidays and other luxuries. All in the name of keeping finances separate.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is anything wrong with a couple keeping their finances separate and, in most cases, it is the safest and best option. However, I still think that both people in the relationship should be fully transparent about their finances.
How much debt do you have, what are your personal expenses, and what savings goals are you aiming for? These are all important questions to ask, it’s simply not enough to know that you are both able to contribute to the rent/mortgage and other joint bills. Because then you are just roommates and not in an actual partnership.
The Reddit poster admitted he had consulted with a solicitor after he found out, but was advised that even if he divorced her she would probably end up with 60-70% of his pension, plus the majority of the house as well a good chunk of his stocks and shares Isa.
In the UK, divorce laws can be complex, and assets aren’t always divided equally. The Reddit poster, even with a significant personal pension, could face a financial hit. It highlights the importance of pre-nuptial agreements and open communication, even if it seems unromantic.
After all, who wants to talk about splitting the silverware when you’re still picking out china patterns? Although I would argue that is the best time to do it, before there may be any bad blood – but that’s a tangent I won’t go down.
Financial advisers aren’t just for the wealthy. They can help couples navigate tricky financial situations and mediate conversations that might otherwise turn into shouting matches. Think of them as the financial whisperers, helping couples create personalised plans that work for both partners. It makes me sad to think of how many of these types of situations could be avoided if more people were just aware of the benefits of consulting with a financial adviser.
The Reddit post underscores the importance of individual financial literacy and planning, regardless of relationship status. It’s a wake-up call for advisers to proactively address these topics with clients, even if it feels uncomfortable. After all, a little awkwardness now can save a lot of heartache later.
Love is blind, but your finances shouldn’t be. Financial transparency and professional advice are crucial for building a secure future, both individually and as a couple. So, to all the financial advisers out there, be the voice of reason, helping clients protect their financial futures, even in the face of unexpected relationship challenges.
This is a bit silly. Or rather the illustrated couple have been. There obviously wasn’t any openness in the relationship. Finance should be something (amongst others) that should be fully discussed and disclosed. Hence no surprises later on. Anyway, I often found that those working in the public sector (Teachers, Police, Armed Forces, NHS) were in the main financially illiterate and probably best avoided as clients.