Numbers up for actuaries

Clerical Medical&#39s irrepressible Gordon McAra was overheard at a dinner boasting of a prophylactic past to rival his stellar career in public relations.

It seems that as treasurer of the Students&#39 Union at one of Scotland&#39s finest universities, Heriot-Watt, McAra was responsible for the installation of condom machines in the toilets in the 1970s.

Given that one of Heriot-Watt&#39s specialities was actuarial science, McAra could well have saved Scotland from a population explosion of actuaries who otherwise would have been coming to maturity about now.

More like saving us from a plague, a fellow guest and national hack was heard to mutter.